a sudden lack of irony

E’stenders.

I wonder if there’s comes a point in the characters’ lives when they realise the truth of a situation and suddenly go, my god – wasn’t it ironic a few weeks ago when I said such and such? I mean, I said he was the most honest and truthful person I knew and all the time he’d just murdered someone – tell me about it, I started a conversation about how loud the music was by saying ‘Murder!’ to him in a kind of sarcastic voice, little knowing he’d actually strangled the living daylights out of someone that very day. That’s nothing, last time I saw my son I said I never wanted to see him again and now look what’s happened – he got murdered. You think you’ve got it bad, I married the man and thanked that other woman for telling Owen not to turn up to the wedding, little suspecting that the man I’d just married actually killed him…

Oh, yeah, and I’m Phil Mitchell and I’m really teeny teeny tiny compared with the heavy who’s trying to get money out of me.

Show me a man who can dispose of a body by burying it under a tree in 2 minutes. Did he plant the tree at the same time as well or was the tree already planted and he had to redig it up? (that’s sooooo ironic cos the tree, like, was in memorial for the other person he killed. sort of. sort of not. well, didn’t help to live. culpable by inaction, i believe) And was that meant to be the same dog interested in live Own and dead Owen or was it three different dogs? Was Owen really loved by dogs and if so why? Are the dogs really more intelligent than most of the cast of characters on Eastenders?

Tune in next week. Or tomorrow actually. For more irony in the making.