i get all the news i need from the weather report

Recently, what with one thing and several others, the only newspapers I have got round to reading have been the ones I’ve used to wrap up the food scraps for the food recycling caddy. (I add here I do read magazines (OK, mainly look at the pictures) and websites so not completely out of the loop).

As a matter of course, this has meant I’ve read old news from the newspaper and putting the scraps away has taken considerably longer than it should do.

Things have taken a slightly more bizarre twist as I’m now working my way through some old Guardian supplements from about 1999/2000 which emerged during an unpacking session. These supplements were produced to commemorate important news items as published by the Guardian during the last century. Consequently I’ve been reading about the death of Elvis Presley and Albert Einstein, how the A bomb was dropped on Bikini, a review of Waiting For Godot and the Sex Pistols’ never mind the album title.

At last I’m almost up to date with the twentieth century.

a sudden lack of irony

E’stenders.

I wonder if there’s comes a point in the characters’ lives when they realise the truth of a situation and suddenly go, my god – wasn’t it ironic a few weeks ago when I said such and such? I mean, I said he was the most honest and truthful person I knew and all the time he’d just murdered someone – tell me about it, I started a conversation about how loud the music was by saying ‘Murder!’ to him in a kind of sarcastic voice, little knowing he’d actually strangled the living daylights out of someone that very day. That’s nothing, last time I saw my son I said I never wanted to see him again and now look what’s happened – he got murdered. You think you’ve got it bad, I married the man and thanked that other woman for telling Owen not to turn up to the wedding, little suspecting that the man I’d just married actually killed him…

Oh, yeah, and I’m Phil Mitchell and I’m really teeny teeny tiny compared with the heavy who’s trying to get money out of me.

Show me a man who can dispose of a body by burying it under a tree in 2 minutes. Did he plant the tree at the same time as well or was the tree already planted and he had to redig it up? (that’s sooooo ironic cos the tree, like, was in memorial for the other person he killed. sort of. sort of not. well, didn’t help to live. culpable by inaction, i believe) And was that meant to be the same dog interested in live Own and dead Owen or was it three different dogs? Was Owen really loved by dogs and if so why? Are the dogs really more intelligent than most of the cast of characters on Eastenders?

Tune in next week. Or tomorrow actually. For more irony in the making.

and so aids restful sleep

Arlo now dancing (very well) to Ting Tings. The delight on his face doubled because now he knows it’s a real song and not one me and his mum made up.

Sleeping peacefully after first flu vaccination  although just had a grumble and moan in his sleep resulting in the words “where have all the chocolate chips gone?”

I stroke his back saying “It’s alright, we’ll find some more” and for now he sleeps.

(chocolate chips are twice significant, First for the chocolate chip cookies made in the morning two days ago – sadly not many chips in the store cupboard and Arlo keen to have some before they go into the cookie dough, second, chocolate buttons as recompense for having an injection. They certain combatted the crying and made things better, but on reflection, at the end of the day as he was dropping off Arlo noted “I didn’t like my injection.”)

jacket hangs

you know, to be honest and everything the Superdry jacket was a mistake afterall. See http://tiny.cc/9UrJu. I mean, I know I coveted it, realised it wasn’t waterproof and bought it all the same, loved it for its sleeves with the thumb holes, hated the holes that nearly immediately appeared in the pockets and the triple zip that one of the fobs has fallen off of, but it’s ubiquitous (and I think that’s the right word) It’s everywhere. Everyone’s wearing it and I’ve hardly ever, if ever worn something like that.

Can’t work out if this means my taste is getting better, worse or more mainstream. Was I in at the start of the trend or was I a mug for it?

Either way the time is coming to get a new winter jacket / coat / look and the 2nd hand shops beckon. Or maybe some oddball shop someplace…

who?

christmas pudding mix(er)

they call me bob
they call me chippy
they call me lola
they call me vegetable man
that’s not my name. that’s not my name. that’s not my name. that’s not my name

he calls me dad

he call me mummy

he calls me nibbs

he calls me miss hoolie

i get confused. i get confused. i get confused. i get confused.

the fridge song

Now I watch the thompson twins i suddenly want to start dressing 1980s again. o lord no.
But also I think what was Alanah (sp!?) Curry wearing? She was the one who styled them and she’s wearing a really bad skirt (IMHO).(AABWWADS*).

*whaddya mean you don’t know what this is an abbreviation for?!!!

updated identity

> Subject: Vegetable Man
> Date: Mon, 9 Nov 2009 22:30:59 +0000
>
> We thought you’d like to know that Arlo is now Vegetable Man (he says “said Vegetable Man” after everything he says)
>
> We made a vegetable rack from a flatpack this morning, which he
> merrily loaded with vegetables and wheeled around the house, before counting them, classifying them etc. He cried when we wouldn’t let
> him take the vegetable rack to nursery, and spent a long time trying
> to persuade us to let him take it to bed tonight. He has an imaginary
> van that he drives it around in.
>
> lots of love xxx

He did however take two vegetables (such is the power of our negotiation skills) to nursery and came back with a vegetable box made of an old Mr Mash packet (such is the power of our nursery’s activity skills). Said box carted two more vegetables to nursery today (both carrots).

Arlo has however moved on. He is now Lola (he says “said Lola” after everything he says), Polly is Charlie and I am mummy (unseen in the show but never mind). Apparently Marv is coming on Friday (watch out Auntie Lil) although Morton is staying in his shop (shame we won’t be seeing Uncle Mark).

While unloading the dishwasher each morning I am working my way through characters from Balamory. I am generally Miss Hoolie but this is a disappointment to me, personally. Archie is my greatest performance I feel, partly because he doesn’t have a straight scottish accent.

why why why

Everytime I load or unload the dishwasher, I find myself singing this song to it.

I worry for my sanity (sometimes).
That said it is a very very nice song and the keyboard riff in the build to the final verse is quite something.

on the really good side

on the really good side the wonderful dave d is here for the weekend. he has brought his guitar. an excited arlo came into the kitchen this pm and said ‘daddy come into the front room, me and david are having a jam.’
i am soooo proud.

onwards to the depths of self pity (and back again i guess)

I missed them.

 

Sob. Wail. Sob sob sob sob.

I cannot tell you how bad this is. I am trying to think of when I last felt this disappointed and cannot even dredge up a childhood memory of over-reacting to some petty thing or other and I can’t think of it. I’m trying to think of something that makes it all better.

Carter USM played two gigs this year. One of them was one where they played the entire track album of 1992 the Love Album and Post historic Monsters. The second of these has a couple of fantastic tracks I’ve wanted to see played live. Especially this one here: http://tiny.cc/tHtlk
They were going to play it – they played it and I wasn’t there. They even emailed the newslist to say what a fantastic light show they were going to have. And I wasn’t there.
The ticket was bought for me for my birthday and I had a COLD. A COLD GODDAM IT. WHY ON THAT DAY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHHHHHHYYYYYYY?

If I B*Witched ever do a concert I’m going into quarantine for 6 weeks before.
Oh, and it occurs on the day when there’s a massive weather storm as well.
I started crying myself to sleep at midday or so.
Today I have minimum cold and feel pretty OK.
On the one hand I’m even more annoyed because I should at least have been hospitalised to have missed this gig. On the other hand at least I can go running sooner than I thought I would.
If the sodding weather would turn.